Stability

I'm feeling terribly uncertain about my relationship lately. I'm just really scared of losing him. He's assured me before that I won't lose him but when I think about our future, I can't fathom a way that we could end up together. He's tentatively making plans for next year and he told me that he can't make life decisions based on the fact that things are going well for us right now. The fact is that I'm not sure that I can either. I know that I want to because I want to be with him more than anything but I'm not sure that I'm willing to give up on my dreams to be with him. So, where does that leave us? I guess I just wish that I could have some stability, some way of knowing that we won't end without notice.

And the fact of the matter is that he has been so great lately. He's been really sweet and thoughtful and even a little romantic and yet for some reason I can't just enjoy it like a normal person. It just makes me more afraid of losing something so great. I wish that I could enjoy what we have together without worrying about where we are going, but it is so hard for me. Next post will be about how much I like him; I swear.