100

I've been holding off on posting because this is my 100th and I felt like it should be commemorative in some way. I wanted it to be brilliant, and now it's just going to be sad. Because now something has come up and I definitely need a place to purge these feelings all over this blog.

My best boy got accepted to the Peace Corps today. I tried to sound supportive and encouraging when he told me earlier and I am sincerely proud of him, but he could see right through me and just kept asking if I was upset. At the time, I was ok; I knew that it was a definite possibility that he'd get in. But I didn't expect to hear it today; I didn't even know he had his interview today. And now that it's sunk in, I'm really sad. I'm just so disappointed. I graduate in May and he doesn't have a job so I thought we would finally have a chance to be together. It just seems like every time I see the light at the end of the tunnel, something happens and then the tunnel gets longer. I just don't know if we will ever be able to be together. I looked it up and he's going to be gone for over two years. He wants to make it work, wants me to visit and wants to stay together. He said it couldn't come at a better time cause we are stronger than ever. I agree that our relationship is stronger than ever but I don't think that I am. When he's gone, we will be talking even less than we do now and this is already killing me. I just don't know if our relationship can survive another long period of time away from each other. I want to make it work, I don't want to give up but I don't know if I can deal with being sad all the time. I just don't know if I'm strong enough. And I don't know why the universe seems to continually sabotage this relationship.